


you were my town.

by Dearemma



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Post Season 7, and posted this at 10, chapter 2 is softer, honestly i thought of this at 8pm, it's just me pouring sad feelings into a docs document, uhhh its a break up fic and that's all i can really say about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:54:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27017647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dearemma/pseuds/Dearemma
Summary: They keep forgetting.They aren't together anymore, but every once in a while, the muscle memory of being a couple is too much and they fall back into old patterns, and for a second everything is okay.(it's not though).
Relationships: Skye | Daisy Johnson/Daniel Sousa
Comments: 26
Kudos: 79





	1. Chapter 1

It's not their fault really. After two years of being in a relationship, most of this time spent aboard a tiny spaceship, of course they developed their daily routines around each other. They are stuck with the muscle memory of endless small gestures. It's hard to break away from that. 

Their relationship bloomed inside of Zephyr-3, countless milestones celebrated in their shared bunk at the end of the ship. They explored the ship together, selected the _accidentally_ larger bunk to share (there was another one gathering dust, regulations required there be a bunk for each member of the team, but there was no need). 

They shared each other spaces so effortlessly, moving and twisting like a well oiled machine.

So what if they keep slipping up? 

Who cares that Daniel still finds himself heading to the galley every afternoon to brew Daisy some tea, knowing that she usually needs a break at that exact point and that the caffeine will keep her good mood going until the end of the day?

What if she still automatically adds classic movies to her Netflix queue, reading the little blurb to talk to Daniel about it later, see if it’s something he is going to be interested in?

It doesn’t hurt anyone. 

They made damn sure that their break up would not affect the team negatively in any way. Kora was cold to him for half a day before she remembered Daniel was her Supervising Officer and she would have to see him every day. 

They act friendly during meetings, never let any awkwardness show.

The only problem with them forgetting that they were no longer together sometimes, was the slow build up of realization. That quiet moment when they remember that everything has changed. That they are Johnson and Sousa, SWORD Director and her second in command, not Daisy and Daniel, the couple that broke the rules of space and time to be together.

> 1.

The first time it happens it’s three days after their break up. 

Daniel is still fighting the last tendrils of sleep as he heads to the galley to get breakfast. He is used to Daisy waking up before then him to do Tai chi. He puts on his clothes, brushes his teeth and when he passes by Daisy, he immediately puts a hand on her waist and kisses her cheek.

Something had been nagging him in the back of his mind since he woke up. He was disoriented, the bunk seemed too far away from everything he was used to, and his clothes weren’t in their proper place, but as he breathed her in, he finally felt like himself.

“Good morning.” tucking in a strand of her hair behind her ear, Daniel cupped her cheek, lingering. Usually, he would already be preparing his coffee, but he felt stuck there. Everything in him was telling him to stay in this moment for as long as he could, to bask in the happy look in Daisy’s eyes, the warmth of her body close to his.

Looking down at her lips, he starts bending down to kiss her, it feels like it’s been too long. The air still around them, their noses bump together, it’s only at her soft murmur of his name that his mind finally awakens, memories piecing together.

His eyes snap open and he steps away, and he can see the second that things dawn for her as well. There is some relief in that, that he wasn’t the only one feeling this magnetic pull. His chest ached at the realization of his loss. 

“I’m so sorry.” his mouth feels dry, but he keeps repeating an apology. He has never felt so rotten in his entire life. She tries to grab his hand and tell him it’s okay, but he isn’t listening to her anymore. Looking down at the ground, he apologizes again before scurrying off to the galley to get some coffee.

Kissing her, it’s not part of his routine anymore. It’s over, and he will never get to kiss her again. 

He kisses her cheek five more times, before he asks Kora to meet him with coffee in the weights room. Each time he has to pull away hurts more, he could barely stand straight last time. Having everything he wants so close, having her in his arms, just to lose her again and again. It’s not something he can do anymore.

> 2.

Daisy has always had problems sleeping, ever since she was a child at the orphanage, sleep has been an enemy of hers -- hard to come by, and cruel when it visits. 

Everyone complains about the ship’s noise, claiming it disturbs their sleep, but for Daisy it’s proven to be calming, the vibration outside similar to the one that tugs at her bones. She has never slept better in her life. Or, perhaps, the reason why she has been falling asleep so well it’s that she hasn’t slept alone since this all started, the idea of not sharing a bunk with Daniel never crossing her mind. They were sharing an apartment on Earth, why not share a bunk in space?

They fill their bunk with memories from Earth and trinkets they gathered in space, their clothes hanging together in the closet, their bodies curling on the mattress. She was safe in his arms, absorbing the ship’s vibrations.

That is, until she found herself sleeping alone. 

The worst nights weren’t the ones where she kept thinking of the moment where their relationship imploded, it’s the ones she waits up for him.

Space is his dream, and he offers to take the night shift whenever he can, where he can gaze out of the window and enjoy in quiet wonder the incredible world he was brought into. Daisy always loved that, but she especially loved it when he slipped in bed with her, curling around her in bed.

She waits.

And waits.

Waits until she hears him say goodnight to the agent replacing him. Waits as she hears him linger outside of her door, breath caught in her throat, until his footsteps start again, fading as he heads to his bunk.

His bunk.

Not theirs.

Daisy is sleeping on her on from now on. She grabs more pillows, puts on his shirt, and tries to forget, hoping for dreams where they are happy once more.

> 3.

Would it be cruel to say they are lucky?

After all, they only kiss once.

They narrowly escape being taken hostage on an hostile alien planet. They have to shoot their way out of the atmosphere, Kora doing some of her best maneuvering to duck through barriers and enemy ships. 

Daisy never leaves the command center, expertly guiding their tiny team to safety, not resting until the radar beeping quietens. They are as deep into space as they have ever been, Earth is a faraway star on their vision. It will take days for them to get back to their old course without punishing the ship, and yet when her grip loosens around the weapons command, her sigh of relief echoing around the quiet room, a feeling of celebration imbues the whole team. 

She is heading to her bunk to put her gauntlets away when a hand shots out and drags her into a supply closet, Daniel’s lips desperately closing over hers a second later. There is no hesitation on her part, she immediately responds, pushing him against the wall and pouring out all of her frustration and longing into the kiss. 

They cling to each other. It doesn’t take too long for either of them to remember they shouldn’t be doing this, but they can’t stop, it’s all they’ve been able to think about for weeks and they both know they won’t get another chance to do this. They lose themselves in each other, the ship and their responsibilities melting away, all of the reasons why they broke up are caged into the back of their minds. 

The last time they were in here they were yelling, a bad mission result hanging like a dark cloud over their heads. This time no words are exchanged, they are too dangerous, they simply kiss and hold each other until their hearts stop threatening to jump out their throats.

It’s only when they hear an agent talking about popping open a bottle of champagne and calling for them, that they jump apart. 

There is no need for apologies this time. In the darkness of the closet, they don’t need to check if the other one looks guilty or regrets the decision, they can just wait a few seconds before leaving, leaving unfinished desires in their wake. 

That's the price of forgetting, it opens the door for the pain to come back time and time again.


	2. all you had to do was stay.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I felt bad for leaving this fic in a sad place so I wrote a happy ending. These dorks belong together. So for everyone who asked -- are they getting back together, or SERIOUSLY?? this is for you.

All she can think about is collapsing on her bed. She’s been up for more than thirty hours, trying to broker a diplomatic deal for SWORD to build a small refueling base on a planet’s moons. The other side had been more than willing at first to broker a deal, excited by the prospect of being able to call upon SWORD to help with skirmishes with a nearby planet, but when they got down to it, they kept changing the language of the deal, protesting every small detail and provision. A ten hour break was all they could agree on today. 

When she opens the door to her bunk, all she is expecting to see the same rumpled bed and empty spaces that stare at her mockingly every morning, instead it’s a sight that makes her heart clench and transports her back to simpler times. Softly, she closes the door behind her, watching him with a wistful smile.

_ Daniel. _

He is wearing the planet’s traditional garb. It’s big and willowy and he looks heartbreakingly handsome in it. Crouched down on the floor, looking for something in a box he left behind. It's been three months since this bunk has been only hers, not theirs, and he has still not fully moved out.

It’s the first time he has used his key to let himself in without her permission, he usually asks and tells her when he is going to be there. 

The sight of him is distractingly familiar. All she wants to do is collapse into his arms and beg him to forget everything that happened. When he looks up at her, an apology half formed in his lips, she shakes her head. “It’s okay, you should be able to come in here and get your stuff. That bunk is way too small, you can’t really fit anything in there.” This bunk, on the other hand, feels enormous without him here.

She misses smelling his aftershave the second she steps into the room, seeing his clothes hung up next to hers, kissing him when he slips into bed after her. She misses hearing him laugh most of all, because she misses seeing him look happy. To everyone else, little has changed, he is seemingly content as he goes through the day's motions, but she can see the sadness that shadows him.

It’s easy to recognize. She sees it in the mirror every day.

The kiss they shared in the supply closet lingers on her mind, the way he desperately clung to her. His skin had been damp, lips slightly salty. She had chalked it up to sweat at the time, they had escaped a dangerous situation, but at the broken way he was staring at her now, she can’t rule out crying.

God, what a mess they had become.

They had spun out of control, smaller fights turning into screaming matches. He had grown irritated, snappish, as he did when he was feeling out of control. And she did what she always did -- she ran, she willfully misunderstood him, twisting his caring words into poison.

_ You’re being rash, and putting yourself into too much danger. _

Everyone on the team had said this to her, he wasn’t alone in his assessment, but he was the one she focused her rage on.

_ So you don’t me in the field? Excuse me, Sousa. Let me pick up my apron and start knitting a sweater for the army of babies I’m about to pop. _

Couldn’t they understand she needed to be the one facing the danger? She couldn’t let anyone else die, this had always been her job.

_ You’re impossible! Infuriating!  _ He had uttered running a hand through his hand, wanting to pummel whoever put it into Daisy’s brain that her life was more expendable than others, that she had to be the one to save everyone every single damn time. But she was too far gone to listen, Kora had almost gotten killed and she felt it was her duty to protect her, no matter the cost to her body or her life.

Daniel finished packing up things in silence. “Thank you. I’m almost done, I’ll be out of your hair in a second.” Everything was packed up, ready to go. One less item to keep him here, one last reminder to allow her to pretend that everything was fine during hard nights. But he made no move to leave, and she let him.

It’s not healthy, or good for them to continue acting like this. And yet, they’re both greedy, they take in each other’s changed appearances with greedy eyes; they try so hard not to look, to pretend that everything is okay, but there is no one here to watch them. 

His hair was longer, less well kept, but still as clean shaven as ever (there had been a hint of stubble during the first week after their break up, but it was gone now). He looked stronger, she knew he had been spending a lot of time in the gym in the past month.

And Daisy, it only took her two weeks to change her hair again. The blonde highlights are gone, and it’s the longest it’s ever been, falling straight down her back, curling at the end. It gives her a softer appearance, but her skin has lost some of it’s shine, the dark bags under her eyes have become more stubborn.

She dreams of exploring the new muscles on his back and, he he longs to run his hands through her hair, the whiff of her shampoo that he sometimes catches during missions nearly driving him mad. He used to bury his head in the crook of her neck, the scent enveloping him.

It now taunts him.

“You could stay.” her offer is uttered in a whisper, too softly for him to hear. Raising his eyebrows, he waits for her to repeat it.

Daisy swallows down hard, tears pricking at the corner of her eyes. She is just so tired of not having him. She still loves him, maybe she even loves him more now that she knows the gaping hole he leaves in her life when he walks away. It’s hard for her to admit weakness, to backtrack her decisions, but the idea of falling asleep one more time without him by her side makes her afraid.

How many times did she lose what she wanted,  _ what she needed _ , due to fear? Second guessing herself? Lincoln died without hearing that she loved him because the words were stuck in her throat. 

So, she repeats her offer, peeling herself off the door and walking over to him, peering down at him, still on his knees. “You could stay.”

He could stay. They could try again. She can try being not so foolish, he can accept that despite putting herself in the line of danger, that she always fights like hell to come home.

Slinking to the floor in front of him, Daisy rests her forehead against his, letting out a shuddering breath. “You could stay. Here. With me.” she adds, not wanting any confusion. She wants him. God, she misses him. “Please.” It feels so good to be close to him again.

Eyes closed, she hears him sigh deeply, and prepares herself for him to walk away. 

It’s what she is used to after all.

She is too late.

As she begins to pull away, she feels his hands rest on her waist. They’re warm and familiar and when he tugs her closer, she practically falls on top of him, raining kisses down on his face, neck, and finally his lips.

Hands rising to frame his face, she kisses him sloppily, shaking too much to breathe in deeply, but unwilling to let her lips separate themselves from his skin for even a second. 

“I’ll stay.” he promises kissing her cheek. “I will.” he repeats every time she chases his lips again. “God, I missed you.” he says in the most broken and yet relieved tone she has ever heard. He pulls her into his lap, arms clenching her like a vice. She encourages it, moaning appreciatively in his mouth when his legs rise so she has no choice but to be plastered across his chest. 

It’s all she has wanted for months now. 

She reacquaints herself with the lines of his face, fingers caressing every inch of skin available, followed by her lips. “I don’t want -- I don’t want this to be a brand new thing, I want us to go back to where we were. I want you here in my bunk with me, we’re gonna grab all your things from that dusty corner and you’re going to… you’re going to stay.” and go back to kissing her cheek every morning, holding her every night and loving her every single day. 

“ _ Yes _ .” his voice is filled with the same frenzied longing as hers. “Just better, okay? We’re not going to make the same mistakes again.” she nods quickly, sealing the promise with a kiss.

When Daisy wakes up the next morning, she is surprised to find herself in a bed. Her last memory was dozing off in Daniel’s arms, still on the ground, neither willing to break the hug to move into a more comfortable position.

There is no momentary panic, no second of wondering whether it was all a dream. His breath tickles her neck, and she can feel his arm heavy and secure around her waist. Twisting around in his arms, she watches him sleep with a soft smile adorning her lips. 

His hair is floppy and messed up, sand is gathering in the corner of his eyes, but he has the most adorable and relaxed expression she has seen on his face in ages. 

She wakes him up with teasing kisses and soft murmurs of his name --  _ Daniel,  _ not Sousa as she has been calling him for the past few months. Simply Daniel. He calls her Daisy, and sweetheart and  _ love  _ and it doesn’t make her feel like she can’t breathe.

It makes her feel alive. 

The kisses are slow, then fast, and everything in between, the two of them kissing as if they can make up for all of the months they missed together. He chases after her lips hungrily, nibbling on her full lower lip in a way that he knows drives her insane. When he starts kissing her neck, he makes her squirm and beg, leaving behind a hickey that he knows he will pay for later, but he needs to see physical proof that this wasn’t all a dream. When his lips trail further down, he makes her scream his name. 

They are selfish that day. When they finally leave  _ their  _ bed, Daisy heads to the galley to get food and tells the highest ranking officer he is in charge today and he is not to disturb them unless the world is ending; Daniel completely forgets he had a training session with Kora. The other room is stripped bare.

He drops everything on the ground when he walks back in and pushes her down the bed again, their love making frenzied this time. When he grabs her hand later and tells her they have a lot of work to do, she bites back her disappointment, thinking he means work. Instead, he throws her one of his shirts from the pile on the ground and then starts things into smaller piles.

“We need to put everything back into place.” His smile is happy and just on the right side of dorkish, and instead of going back to their earlier activities like she had wanted (it’s been too long and she is insatiable, she doesn’t think she will ever get enough of him), Daisy sits down on the floor next to him, and only grumbles slightly when he dunks her clothes on the floor and makes her fold them properly. 

He is  _ staying.  _

Folding clothes is a small price to pay.

**Author's Note:**

> My headcanon is that two months after their break up, Kora loses her patience, realizes they are both idiots and need a little push. When they are in the Earth's orbit, she calls Mack and the two of them stage an intervention.  
> Mack: You guys love each other. Stop acting this way, get back together.  
> Daisy: You can't just -  
> Mack: I'm the Director. I can. That's an order. Go kiss your boyfriend.


End file.
